Learning to walk again
Today I want to write about new beginnings.
It’s been two years since I started running my own business. After having spent more than a decade at the same company, I quit. I loved my job and I loved the company that had given me a fantastic career. But I wanted to find my own path. At the time I didn’t know what I wanted to do, all I knew was I had to quit first.
When I decided to run my own business, what I thought was going to be a pleasant detox from corporate life turned out to be a jump into the deep end. In my last role I had a team of over 100 colleagues and dozens of clients to worry about. I’d spent most of my waking hours thinking about them. Now I had all that energy to manage only myself (scary thought!). I completely underestimated the self-management required as an entrepreneur. I don’t mean getting yourself out of bed and to work in the morning — that’s never been a problem. But working alone requires another type of discipline. No more feedback. No more instant gratification. No more colleagues and seniors who praise or critique your work. No more raises and promotions. Instead, plenty of self-doubt.
You’re confronted with your own boundaries every day. You want to succeed, so you push them every day. You realize you’re the toughest boss you’ve ever had. But on some days you’re a terrible boss: not clearly defining success, unrealistic expectations, wanting everything now.
And then there’s the lack of a brand to get used to. You used to work for a household name in the industry. Now when you tell people the name of your company they go ‘who?’ ‘and what do you do exactly?’
So a big gap opens up.
To get through it takes plenty of belief in yourself, no doubt. But I found what really saves you is the belief in the steps it takes to get somewhere meaningful and your ability to take these steps until it works out.
You have to trust the rhythm.
And in time the gap left by your old professional role is filled with new experiences that step by step shape a new role. In time you realize that you’re a pretty good boss of yourself. Because you know yourself, what your weaknesses are and what you’re capable of. You learn to reach out to others. And eventually your rhythm shows results, you win work and you do good work.
In fact you do your best work. No longer boxed in by a job description and a corporate structure, new paths open up. The question “Where do I want to play?” now guides your thoughts and actions. You start feeling happy about your venture.
It’s like learning to walk again: Scary and exhilarating at the same time. And it can lead you to things you never considered or thought possible.
I’m incredibly grateful to all the brilliant people I’ve met, exchanged ideas and worked with this year. I value your place in my life. I’m especially grateful to my clients who early on recognized value in what we do and brought us on board, to my business partner Cornelia, and my friends in the fluid collective.
The next year won’t be easy. In this environment we’ll all need to learn to walk again. If you’re starting out on your own for the first time, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. If I can help, I will.
Wishing everyone happy holidays.
